DEATH, DIVORCE, MOVING HOUSE, PRISON, RAPE, DOMESTIC ABUSE

They say that death, divorce and moving house are the three most stressful experiences in one’s life.  I can confirm they are, especially if they happen consecutively.  In the last three years, I lost my beloved dog to cancer, I separated from my husband and left my family home, packing just a few things into as many garbage bags as would fit into my car.

I never imagined in my wildest dreams that divorce could be so brutal.  I never imagined how hard it would be to get through every day without killing myself.  But I adapted and am now living life on my own terms and am about to move into my brand-new penthouse on the coast of New South Wales, Australia.  I bought this property off-the-plan shortly after the separation to give me a glimmer of hope and security.  I was suddenly a 60-something single woman, so I needed to make a plan for my future life. I was inspired to do so by a book called “A Woman Makes A Plan” by Maye Musk, quickly discovering we have much in common.    

The other three human traumas right up there are prison, rape and coercive abusive control at the hands of a romantic partner, all of which I have also had the misfortune of experiencing, as recounted in my book, “For the Love of Russian Gold” to be released on 15 April 2025 by Koehler books.  Coercive control is a major trait of covert narcissists who are the most dangerous and harmful of all narcissists, as they hide behind a mask – and their friends and family think they are generous, loving, kind, caring, giving, fun and honest – real people-pleasers, who “wouldn’t hurt a fly”.  How wrong they are.  Covert narcissists are accomplished liars, and live life behind a mask, which only comes off behind closed doors in front of their romantic partners/wives whom they strive to possess, humiliate, belittle and enslave, hence the terminology “covert”.   They are usually so clever in their methods of coercive control and manipulation, the partners/wives themselves do not even realise what is happening to them, until it’s too late.  Some women are brave enough to leave, some stay; a lot are killed.  I refer to women as the victims as, even though there are female narcissists, most are men.  

Luckily, there has been a big change to divorce law, putting a price on violence.  The Family Law Amendment Act 2024, set to come into effect from 10 June 2025, require judges to take domestic violence, including coercive control, now a crime in Australia, into account when dividing assets. So, abusers will literally be paying for their crimes.

In addition to the physical, emotional and psychological damage inflicted upon them, women pay a huge economic price, as abusers often use violence to deplete or even destroy a women’s ability to be financially self-sufficient hence trapping them in the abusive relationship – like an insect in a spider’s web.

Source, FINANCIAL REVIEW, Big change to divorce law puts a price on violence, Tom McIlroy, Updated Feb 24, 2025

The Dark Truth: What Lies Beneath The Mask Of A Narcissist Written By: Anne Mc Creahttps://themindsjournal.com/underneath-the-mask-of-a-narcissist/